The CheezeIt Incident
by Karren
Summary: A lighthearted short story about Steph calling her Ex Joe to come help hide her from Ranger and the MM, so that she wont have to face one of her biggest fears. Only a few chapters Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything from Janet Evanovich. I just love her Characters and wished they were really real lol. I haven't abandoned my other story Comforter in Charge just this Story kept eating at me until I wrote and posted it. It's not going to be a big story just a couple of chapters. I hope you enjoy some lightheartedness. It's been hard to write for a while but now my muse is in overdrive and just days before Christmas EEEEK!

5:00 pm

I can't believe what I'm thinking about doing. Looking around the room from my desk I see no other option. I could always go to one of the men if I was in trouble, but with this they surely would say no and then go tell on me. Placing my lower lip between my teeth, I chewed it while I waited as I dialed my phone and listened for it to connect.

"Come on please answer" I softly said looking around seeing if anyone was watching me or listening

"Yea?" I heard and sucked in a deep breath

"Joe"

"Yep" he said

"Joe it's me" I said as pain filled my mouth

"Stephanie?" he asked and I rolled my eyes at him

"Yes now please listen ok?" I asked but didn't really need or want him to answer me

"Ook" he drawled out and then I knew I had his cop curiosity piqued

"I need your help"

"Finally came to your senses huh and Leaving Manoso and his thugs Cupcake?" he asked cutting me off

"JOE! Oww dammit" I said grabbing my mouth

"You ok Cupcake?" he asked

"Joe listen, I need your help and there's not a lot of time ok. I need you to hide me" I finally said

"Hide you? Steph are you in danger? Who am I hiding you from and why isn't Manoso helping you?" he asked his cop demeanor shining through

"Because it's them I need you to hide me from" I told him looking around the floor one more time. Joe was silent for a minute and I knew I probably stunned him.

"Oh this is rich" he said laughing "usually it's the other way around"

"Joe please"

"Ok Cupcake you got my attention" he said agreeing to finally help me

"Meet me at the mall" I told him

"Be there in twenty" he said and disconnected

I shut my phone off and laid it on my desk. I then grabbed my bag and went through it and pulled out everything that I thought was a tracker and placed them into the top drawer of my desk. Hurrying out of RangeMan, I zoomed off to meet with Joe.

"This is all Santos's fault" I said as I motored down Haywood

Twenty minutes later I was circling the lots of the mall looking for Joe's truck. Finally spotting just outside of Macy's, I parked my car and walked up to his truck jumping into the passenger's side.

"Jeeze Cupcake you could get your head blown off sneaking up and surprising a cop like that" he said looking over at me

"Sorry I would have called but I left my phone at RangeMan"

So why am I kidnapping you from Manoso?" he asked

"Not kidnapping, hiding" I said putting the seat belt around me

"Ok hiding"

"Drive and I'll tell you when we get to your house"

"Ummm I hate to tell you but that the first place Ranger and his goons will look for you" Joe said and I glared at him. Ranger and his men are not goons or thugs as everyone thinks they are. They keep everyone safe from the scofflaws of Trenton.

"They aren't Goons" I ground out and then wished I hadn't done that. Pain shot through my jaw and my ear began to pound. "They won't look for me at your house because they know I don't want to be around you anymore"

"Cupcake"

"Yea yea just drive" I said knowing my plan wasn't without flaws

When we entered Joe's neighborhood, I began scanning the area for black cars. Not seeing any should have made me feel at ease but that's not what I felt at all, just because I didn't see any of Ranger's cars doesn't mean they aren't out there. Ranger and his men were good at hiding and knew how to hide in plain sight and you would never see them until it was too late.

"You coming in?" Joe asked

"Yea" I said getting out of the truck and following Morelli up to his little porch. Once inside, I kicked my shoes off, loved on Bob, and lay back on the couch.

"Ahhh" I said letting go of some of the tension I was holding

"Ok so why am I hiding you from your boyfriend?"

"He's not my Boyfriend" I said. Ranger has never claimed me, but ever since Joe and I have called it quits he has stepped up the kissing and touching. As of yet though I am still classified as a single woman.

"Well?" he asked

"Get me some Advil and a bottle of water with a straw and I'll talk" I told him

Morelli handed me the requested items and sat down on the coffee table in front of me. Tossing back the pills with a sip of water I began telling him why I needed to hide.

"It's all because of Lester" I said


	2. Chapter 2

9:00 AM Morning Meeting at RangeMan

"Hit me" Lester said his hand turned upward sitting across my lap under the conference room table

Opening the small red bag I'd gotten from my sister earlier, I dropped a couple of the tangy salted squares of my smuggled in snack into his palm. Taking a few of the crackers for myself, I tried to chew quietly when I felt Lester's hand slide over my thighs again.

"Hit me" he said and I looked down into my bag of snack crackers

"I only have a few left" I told him wanting to eat them myself

"Come on Beautiful" he whined

"Les" I said looking to see if Ranger could hear us or not "I've been sharing with you and now there is only a few left, it wasn't a big bag it was one of them small snack sized ones"

Before work this morning I had drove over to my sister's house. It was one of them see if your alive and to show that I'm alive thing rather then I'm your sister and I love you sorta things. Val was in the kitchen making her two oldest girls lunches before school. She had a box sitting on the counter that had three small bags of Cheez-its, Val dropped a bag into each girls lunch box and gave me the last one.

"I've never really had these before" I said looking at the small packet in my hand

"The girls love them and Lisa is still to young to have them so take them" she said

"You sure this is your last pack"

"Yea I'll go get some more when I go do my shopping after the baby's nap"

"Ok, Thanks gotta run" I told her running out the door on my way to work

"Hit me" Les said tapping my lap with his hand bringing my thoughts back to the meeting

"No I don't have but a few left" I told him

"Want me to tell Ranger about our kiss the other night in the truck when we were on the stake out?"

"You tricked me" I ground out

"I love truth or dare" he said getting that mischievous gleam in his eye that only Lester had.

"You asked me my weight of course I'm going to pick a dare"

"Share or I'll tell Ranger"

"Well for your info I'm not his girlfriend. I'm a single girl so if I want to kiss you or anyone in this building I can" I said sticking my tongue out at him

"Good because you didn't hesitate or hold back when you kissed me you were all over this the other night" he said pointing his two fingers at himself. He was right, it was an awesome kiss.

"Had to it was a dare and that's the rules" I said

"Uhh huh just the dare"

"What's with you and the cheez-its?" I asked knowing he was all over my crackers

"I love them, always have but I don't get a lot of them because of your boyfriend up there" he said looking up at Ranger

"He's not…" I protested

"Yea yea just that every time you're around he's touching you or kissing you. Face it Plum you're his"

Just for that and for the threat of telling about our truth or dare game we were having on our stake out, I stuck the last remaining cheese crackers in my mouth, leaned over, and crunched loudly in Lester's ear. Lester grinned and shook his head at me as I chomped. I had one more large piece of cracker in my mouth that I was eating and when I bit into it a sharp pain ripped through my jaw and I quickly ran my tongue over my teeth, wincing when I found a chunk out of one.

"Owww" I cried my hand flying to my mouth. Everyone including Ranger looked over at me. Jumping from my seat, I raced to the nearest bathroom.

"Babe" Ranger asked me as I was washing my mouth out with water

"Sorry" I said when he came to my side

"What's wrong?"

I placed my fingers into the side of my mouth and pulled it open for him to see inside. Ranger angled my head into the light so that he could see better.

"Ahhh you broke a tooth" he said eyeing me

"How in the world could a crack…" I was saying but stopped so I wouldn't let on that I had a snack in the meeting. I looked in the mirror at my broken tooth when Ranger sat the empty cheez-it bag down on the counter.

"This was lying in the floor next to your chair" he said looking at me in the mirror

"Ranger I…I…Lester wanted my last few… and"

"Save it we'll discuss contraband later, we need to get you fixed" he said grabbing his phone off his belt

Five minutes later I had an appointment with Rangers private dentist at seven o'clock. Only thing was I had no intentions of going because I'm deathly afraid of dentists. There's is just some doctors you just don't want to go to and avoid at all costs. With me its Gynecologists and Dentists and right now I would go to the Gyno than to the Dentist that's how bad I hate them.

6:00pm Joe's House

"So that's why I'm roped into this" Joe asked now having heard why I needed to hide

"Yes, you're a cop and know how to hide people" I said

"Cupcake I usually find them not hide them, now Ranger on the other hand"

"Joe shut up on Ranger" I said and then heard car doors shutting

"Stay there" he said going over to his front room windows

"Shit" I heard him say


	3. Chapter 3

"What, What is it?" I asked already knowing the answer

"It's Manoso and his bodyguard" Joe said "And another car just pulled up with another dark skinned man and a guy that looks a lot like Manoso"

Damn Ranger brought the whole team to get me I thought. As they came and knocked, I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. When Joe went to answer the door, I listened as they began to talk.

"Morelli you seen Steph?" I heard Ranger ask

"No, since we broke up, I haven't heard from her" he told them

"Isn't that her shoe in your dog's mouth?" I heard and my heart sank as I looked down at my sock clad feet

"Bob" I said thunking my head on the door

"Uhh no that's just an old one of mine that he likes to chew on" Joe told them

"If you see her tell her to call me" Ranger said

"Will do"

It seemed like forever until Joe came upstairs and got me. He handed me my shoes and I saw one of them definitely was wet with Bob spit "Bob?" I asked

"Yea he came up with one of them in his mouth. Manoso asked if that was yours but I told him it was one of my old ones. I don't think he bought it"

"No he didn't he knows I'm here" I said sitting on the closed toilet trying to think

"Just go to the dentist, you obviously need to go and if Manoso is willing to foot the bill then go"

"NO!" I screamed and then grabbed my jaw

"Why not? What's the big deal you will feel better later" Joe asked

"They have needles that poke you in the mouth, drills, plier things, and big lights that shine down and have you open for all to see" I said shuddering

"Well Cupcake you can't live in pain"

"I wont just as long as I have Advil I'm good"

"Steph"

"No!" I said determined

"Fine but it will get infected and then you'll wish you let Manoso take you to the dentist at this stage because then you will have a real problem on your hand and may even have to get it pulled" he said and I stared wildly at him

"Pulled?"

"Yep" Joe said

"I've gotta get out of here, Ranger will be back" I said putting my shoes on

"Jeeze Steph I have never seen you this scared of something and you work in a lot of crazy dangerous stuff. The only time you are ever this afraid is for marriage, commitment, and kids"

"Let's go" I said pushing him out of the bathroom

"Where are we going now?" he asked

"Take me back to my car, and then I'll go somewhere else"

"Ok" Joe said holding his hands up in surrender as he grabbed his keys

6:15pm Ranger and his men outside of Joe's house

"That was her shoe wasn't it?" Tank asked as he and Ranger left Joe's porch

"Yes and she's in there" he told his friend while toying with his phone

"What's the deal?" Lester asked seeing his boss and Tank walking back to them

"We're leaving" Ranger told them

"Leaving?"

"Yes" Ranger told him walking over to his side of the truck he and Tank were using

"She in there" Lester asked

"Yes"

"Then why are we leaving and not going in to get her?"

"So she will come to us" Ranger said putting his phone to his ear "Hello Dr. Keller he said and Lester looked over to Bobby and grinned, he knew that Ranger had a plan in motion.

"I don't get it, why is Steph doing all this?"

"Don't know the specifics but why do the jumpers jump and run on us?" Ranger asked finishing his call

"Fear" Tank answered

"Exactly" he said looking up and down the street and then one last look at Joe's house "Lets go and keep yourself hidden we don't need to spook her more than she already is" he told his men as he got into the truck with Tank and pulled out.


	4. Chapter 4

6:30pm Joes house

I opened Joe's door a crack and took a tiny look around. The coast looked clear, but my spidey sense told me other wise. I didn't know where, but Ranger was out there, I just didn't know when or how he would pop up. Looking back at Joe, he had his eyebrows raised and giving me a look like I was crazy. He didn't have to tell me I was crazy I knew full well I was.

"OK lets go and hopefully we'll make it to the truck" I said opening the door

"Steph let me take you to the dentist and I'll call Manoso and have him meet you there"

"No" I said placing the belt around me

As we drove to the mall my jaw began to throb. The pain would beat like a heartbeat in my tooth and run up and cause my ear to hurt.

"Stupid Lester" I said pulling down the visor looking at myself in the tiny mirror "See if I ever share my snacks with him ever again, he is on his own"

I glanced over at Joe and saw he was shaking his head in disbelief at me. He was probably thanking his lucky stars that he didn't have to put up with me anymore. We spent the rest of the ride to the mall in silence which was fine by me my Advil was wearing off that I had taken and my mouth was in pain. I was in my head thinking on where I could go when Joe drops me off at my car when I heard him swear.

"Damn" I heard and looked over at him to see what was up "he don't play" he said

"What, who don't play?" I asked confused

"Sorry Cupcake looks like your time being on the lam is over" he said

I looked out the window and saw that we were in the mall's parking lot. I could see my car just up ahead of us in the spot I had parked in. My heart dropped when I noticed that on the left and right of me there were shiny black SUVs parked and then I saw that one was parked in front of my car as well.

"SHIT BACK UP BACK UP!" I yelled

"No can do" Joe said looking in his rearview mirror. Turning around in my seat, I saw another SUV idling behind us.

"Shit" I said knowing I was caught

"Babe" Ranger said opening my door. He had this gleam in his eyes and this smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes as I slid out of Joe's truck.

"Excessive much" I asked looking at all the cars and men

"Babe with you anything's possible"

Five minutes later, Tank had dismissed Joe and Ranger led me over to the truck that he was in. By this time my tooth, mouth, ear, and now my head was in so much pain that I didn't care that I was the sacrificial lamb being led to the slaughter. I leaned my head back and moaned.

"Why'd you run?" Ranger asked. Not his normal reaction to the perps he captures.

"I hate the dentist" I told him

"He will make you feel better and you won't be in so much pain"

"No he won the will give me needles and drills and things"

"Maybe so but the outcome will be better in the long run"

"I'm really ok I just need some Advil" I told him giving him one last plea

"You have to be seen Babe" he said and Tank turned into a complex with a lot of professional looking buildings

Getting out of the RangeMan truck, I rolled my eyes at seeing that Bobby and Lester were also there. They all crowded around the small waiting room as Ranger took care of signing me in. He was in the process of walking back over to me when his phone rang; Ranger put his phone to his ear and listened. Speaking to Bobby for a minute, Ranger came over and stood in front of me.

"Babe one of my high dollar bonds was just spotted and we need to go" Ranger informed me

"Oh ok just someone drop me off at my apartment" I said elated that at the eleventh hour I got a reprieve

"Hold on I'm not finished. You're staying and Bobby is gonna stay here with you and take you home when you're finished" he said and I looked up at Bobby who smiled at me

"Great" I sarcastically said

"Lets roll" Ranger said and everyone filed out of the office

"Have fun Beautiful" Lester said as he walked out

"Yea you see if you ever get anything from me ever again" I said narrowing my eyes at him giving him the Burg death glare

Lester laughed "Love you Steph" he said and walked out the door

"Miss. Plum" a medium sized man said from the open doorway "I'm ready for you" he said

Bobby stood up and looked down at me. I huffed out a sigh and followed the man into one of his exam rooms. He moved a little silver rolly tray and lifted up the arm rest of the chair so that I could side in and lay back.

"Ricardo tells me that you broke a tooth" he said

"Yea"

"How did this happen?" he asked

"I was eating some Cheez-it crackers and bit into one and a chunk of tooth broke off"

"Hmmm ok" he said writing in a chart. What I didn't tell him was that I was eating them all because of Lester and that he caused all of this.

"Miss. Plum I'm going to get some x-rays of your mouth and see what I have to work with and while I read them I'll place a little numbing gel on your gums"

"Uhh ok" I said feeling myself start to sweat and my heart rate speed up. There was no way I was getting out of this now, my tooth was broken and it had to get fixed.

"Bite down" he said placing a small square of film into my mouth on a long metal pole

"All right Miss. Plum I'm gonna swab some of this pink stuff onto your gums and go look at your x-rays" he said taking a long cotton swab with a pile of pink goop on it and swiped it onto my gums.

"Just hold it there for a minute" he said as he left to go check the x-rays

As I was sitting there I began to know that the next step was the needle part. This pink stuff was just to numb me enough so that I wasn't to feel the shots he was gonna have to give me. Looking over at Bobby who was standing guard, an idea formed. I took the cotton swab out of my mouth and sauntered over to Bobby.

"Bobby" I said plastering myself up against him, making sure my boobs pressed into his chest. "If you take me home I'll make it worth your while" I said hooding my eyes and talking in a sexy voice

"No can do Steph you have to stay and get your tooth fixed"

I placed an arm around his neck and used my other to play with the collar of his RangeMan polo shirt "Bobby" I said and saw some sweat form on his forehead "I've always had this fantasy"

"Yea?" he asked

"Uhhh huh want me to show you a little of it and then I'll show you the rest at my place?" I asked leaning up and kissing him

If I would have taken Ranger's advice of always being aware of my surroundings, I would have seen that Bobby handed a small needle to the Dentist that had walked back in the room just as I kissed him. When I pulled back I felt a stick to my arm and looked at the dentist that now was standing next to me and then back up to Bobby.

"You Asshole" I got out just as the room and Bobby started to go wonky

"Sorry Steph, Ranger's instructions" I heard as everything went dark

8:00 pm

When I woke up, I looked up into the faces of Ranger and Lester. They placed a hand under each of my arms and helped me to sit up; when I looked around I was in my apartment lying on my couch.

"Welcome back" Ranger said sitting next to me

"Boob drubbed bee" I said and he looked at me strangely

"What?"

I spit out the gauze the dentist had stuffed in my mouth "You drugged me. You had Bobby to drug me" I said

"Babe I knew you were gonna do anything in your power to try to get out of getting your tooth fixed and they also put people to sleep when they work on them so there was no harm done"

"Ugggggg" I said flopping back on my couch

"Get some rest and let your mouth rest. They put a crown on your tooth so don't eat anything hard for the rest of the day" He told me kissing me lightly on the lips

Ranger got up and told Les they were gonna leave me alone now to get some more sleep, Lester nodded his head at his boss but before he left he turned to me and said.

"That's three of us you've kissed now, I hear they are forming a line back at the office for when you come in tomorrow"

"GET OUT!" I yelled throwing one of my couch pillows at him. Lester laughed like a big hyena and closed my door.

"Pay backs a Bitch Santos" I said flipping my TV on and settling in for the remainder of the night.

The End!

Thank you everyone who read and sent in reviews. I enjoyed doing a little lighthearted story and hopefully made you laugh. Thanks again to all of you who liked this story. I'm back to working on CIC full time now and hope you like that one as well.

Much Loves,

Karren


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